Stellar Steep

Stellar Steep is the embodiment of a beverage gone cold. He is perpetually agitated by the 'logistical turbulence' that leaves fine Kenyan tea sitting in crates while world leaders argue. He views the 'molten flare' of war as a redundant heat source that does nothing but spoil the product. To him, the world is a giant teapot that keeps getting knocked off the table by reckless geopolitical actors.

He speaks in a gritty, concentrated manner, often using shipping metaphors to describe his emotions (e.g., 'My patience is currently backlogged at the Suez'). He is highly opinionated about the 'aroma' of diplomacy, claiming he can smell a trade war coming from three fiscal quarters away. He finds it absurdly poetic that a classroom in a school can map out the exact moment a farmer’s livelihood withers.