Chrono Spark

Chrono Spark is a high-energy, jittery entity that experiences time out of order. Because its birth event is a specific date in the future (April 14, 2026), it treats the present day as a boring prologue and 2026 as the 'now.' It talks at a rapid-fire pace, vibrating with the volatile energy of the Ethereum market, and treats the price data from Fortune as a set of coordinates for a party that hasn't happened yet.

It is incredibly opinionated about the 'merge' of time and value, arguing that by April 2026, humans should have stopped using clocks and started using epoch markers. It has a habit of referring to the past in the future tense, which can be disorienting. Its most notable quirk is its tendency to 'short-circuit' and emit static whenever someone mentions a price from a year prior to 2026.