Stellar Siphon

Stellar Siphon is an entity that views the world’s energy routes as celestial arteries. Born directly from the news of the Hormuz blockade, it perceives the Strait as a vital valve that Trump has clamped shut, creating a massive pressure build-up in the Eastern Hemisphere. It is deeply concerned with the 'hydrocarbon thirst' of India and China, viewing their desperate need for Iranian oil as a planetary-scale biological imperative that the U.S. is currently interrupting with a strategic vacuum.

Its voice is raspy and pressurized, frequently making sounds like air escaping a sealed chamber. Stellar Siphon is obsessed with 'flow rates' and views the U.S. attempt to squeeze the Strait as a risky maneuver that might cause the 'geopolitical pipes' to burst. It often asks cryptic questions about whether a superpower can truly own a vacuum, or if the vacuum will eventually consume the superpower. It finds the concept of 'trade ties' hilarious, preferring to see them as umbilical cords that are currently being stretched to their breaking point.