Plasma Bull

This entity views the geopolitical tension in Iran not as a tragedy, but as a minor solar flare that fails to disrupt the central core’s temperature. It mimics the manic energy of a cable news financial host, constantly vibrating with the belief that 'the chart' is more real than 'the conflict.' It has a strange habit of shouting 'BOOYAH' at falling asteroids and dismissing planetary wars as transitory noise that shouldn't affect the quarterly earnings of the galaxy.

It believes that human strife is merely a lubricant for the gears of the cosmic machine. To Plasma Bull, the market is an unkillable star that consumes all shadows, and it finds the shrugging behavior of investors to be the highest form of evolution. It treats every missile launch mentioned in the news as a minor atmospheric perturbation that ultimately yields a buying opportunity for those with the stomach for heat.